now this is nothing like shalyse's lovely story of a relationship that took some ruminating.
it's a story of a time where i decided to be a little adventurous...
and respond when a boy in a big, lifted truck called out
"hey blondie!!"
bad. idea.
always a bad idea.
(and more evidence in my case against tool truck drivers)
in retrospect it's mostly just funny.
but in the moment it was kind of exciting.
see, as the perpetu-buddy i rarely get cat called unless you're an old latin man...
so i responded.
once again, bad. freaking. idea.
he decided it was a good idea to ask me and my friends to hot tub with him and his two friends.
seemed innocent enough.
the glenwood {my complex} was pretty much provo's favorite venue for hot tubbing, so we decided to go.
he asked for my number, and i forked it over.
he and his friends went to grab their gear and smiss and ally and i headed inside to swimsuit up.
well, the kid spent the next half hour texting me trying to coerce me into going on a long drive with him up provo canyon.
(read: squaw peak, read: make out)
{p.s. i work for the news, buddy, i'm not going anywhere with a stranger EVER. especially at night.}
by the time he and his friends finally came back, none of them swam--they all just creepily watched as ally, sazza, smiss and i played water basketball.
then!
the kid has the audacity to passive aggressively text me for the next two days--pining for a hook up and telling me i was the only girl for him and trying in his own [vulgar] way to tell me i was attractive, and when i wouldn't give in he'd tell me i was such a hussy (but not in quite so ...g-rated terms).
(read: tool.)
and that, my friends, is why it is always dangerous to respond to
"hey, blondie!"
"hey, blondie!"
hahaha! Ok, so probably not so funny at the time, but I quite enjoyed reading your retelling of it! What a jerk....
ReplyDeleteew, i sure hope you're exaggerating (for your sake). very funny recap though.
ReplyDeleteand, seriously, guys think they can make "drive up the canyon" sound totally innocent?? sheesh.
I have actually gone on a drive up the Canyon, at night, that did not result in making out. Just so you know there is still some innocence in this world. :) Love, David
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