these walls that you put up to hold us back fell down

photo courtesy gabby she wrote.

i had a visitor tonight.
one i thought i'd lost, finally.
and while he seems to have been on sabbatical...he creeped back through my door tonight.

he tapped me on the shoulder.
"hello, old friend," he leers as he climbs into bed with me.

"you, my friend, have been waiting for me."

i sigh. it's not true. well, mostly not.

"i was here last night. you just didn't see me."

worry and i are old 'friends'.
i'd banished him for so so long.
but he decided now was a good time to visit.

see...things have been stressful this week.
and i have been thinking about my future, about the way i hope some things may play out, and where my life is going.
(i'm a control freak. i like to keep things going forward.)

but you know what, i bested him once...i can do it again.
it might not be easy.
and it might come with my fair share of uncertainty.
but it will come.

senor, you are not welcome here.
i am happy (usually).
and i want to remain that way.
and refuse to let my fears overcome me or to let them become realities.
i will survive.

Damaged people are dangerous.
They know they can survive.

— Josephine Har

and while i may not be completely damaged ... i still know i can survive.

everything will be okay.