not me monday

i definitely didn't hit snooze on my alarm four times this morning, almost creating a horrible time chasm for all the many things i had to accomplish this morning. and there's no way you could make me try on three different outfits and two hairstyles before deciding on which one looked remotely best.

i would never speed all the way from a delightful breakfast to the bank to be a responsible adult and get the money to sign for my new apartment. and i definitely didn't make jokes about being a crazy person and/or a lead paint eater to the new apartment manager. and i would never suck completely at such an important first impression.

there is no way possible that i spent 25 minutes exploring and debating cupcakes in the bakery at costco after work for an important celebration...all the meanwhile ranting to bonnie like a crazy person.

i couldn't even think of driving all the way to my apartment just to put on pajama pants and return to the exact place i had just left. and i would definitely never spend another 10 minutes debating which pajama pants before deciding on the brand new ones i'm obsessed with. which i knew all along i would most likely wear.

and there is literally no way you could ever make me play phone tag for an entire evening all the while receiving some of the funniest voicemails ever to hit my inbox. and after that i definitely didn't debate participating in an activity i'm not particularly good at as a fun means to stop said tag.

and i totally didn't avoid packing my clothes and all the other things lying around my room. and i totally didn't feel a twinge of excitement in the fact that i could literally shove them into my tubs and thus into my awesome new apartment. and i completely didn't make a joke about the last time i moved and the movers...hahahaha.

but i completely didn't stay up too late laughing at my life and postulating about all kinds of things.