well, well, chicken bell....

Okay, so Ruth totally called me out a couple weeks back on not delivering the funny. 

So here I am today with some amusing, some random, some just plain ridiculous stuff.

See? Toldja.

It's all just a big ole hodge podge.

Seriously.

Is it bad that sometimes I want to take computer science classes just so I could learn how to hack into better internet? I don't want to take anyone's information or anything, I'd just like better bandwith than I'm currently getting.

This clip made me crack up tonight ... because it's so me:

See, I've started "mall walking" or as I like to call it retail perusement.

I do it partially for the added health benefit (as I sit all day at work) ... and partially for the people watching. 

I don't stick to one store, or one place, I like to hopscotch around, thereby awarding myself the chance at seeing crazy alllllll ovah the place.

For.Real.

But I really like Melissa's idea (the lady above, obviously we're BFF and, thus, on a first name basis) of buying really bad artwork and just leaving it for your friends.

I'll be the first to tell you that working in the news business shows you some nutso stuff.

But it also allows you to see weirdos in their natural habitats and, much like animals, when you're there on your terms and not theirs, things can get interesting.

Like today, for example.

One of our reporters was out on a live shot and I can see this guy stroll up to her with his bike (first weirdo indicator: he was walking his bike through the park, not riding it) and begin talking to her.

Her body language gets increasingly uncomfortable.

He leaves abruptly and all was fine for the show.

So, when she gets back and my newscast is finished, I ask her photog what the heck was going on with that. Here's what happened (verbatim):

Weirdo Dude (WD): Hey.

G: Hi.

WD: Are you Hmong?

G: Yeah, I am.

WD: Are you married?

G: Nope, but I have a boyfriend.

WD: Is he white?

G just smiles.

WD: Yep, he's white.

And the weirdo just walked off.

Poor G. But such a funny story.

So here's reason #4895938475893745 I'm glad I've been going to the family ward and not the single's ward:

here's part of the email I got today:

Okay if you need a little better perspective:

Yep, you, too, should come to tonight's activity for food, new friends, and to meet your eternal companion.

But they can't come right out and say it, they have to use abbreviations so that only those really desperate, or in the know, could possibly know that's what tonight's activity is for. And then if you're not too busy, you could stay for the class you actually came for. Yaknow.

My Netflix addiction is RIDICULOUS. And since most of "my shows' are on summer hiatus, I pretty much don't need any "real" tv anymore.

Scratch that, I need the Daily Show. But that's it. Thank goodness for Hulu.

Trader Joe's has their new tart yogurt finally back in stock! I freaking love that stuff. That's nearly all I ate my summer before I graduated BYU and I'm so glad I can now buy it in the store and pay the mere $3.49 a quart instead of the $5.25 per cup at the yogurt shop! (Add in in some Oregon blackberries and fuggidaboudid (anyone get my terrible mickey blue eyes reference? *crickets?*).)

My boyfriend renews my affection for him all the time...like the other night....when I failed to be a grownup and take care of my own needs.

I casually mentioned that I was gonna need toilet paper soon and I needed to be reminded to remember to buy some. I didn’t remember. 

And it proved an issue as I used the last of it…and didn’t want to run to the store to buy more. (It'd been a long day and I was lazy.) 

Pat came over and we were watching clips on YouTube and I mentioned that if he needed to use the bathroom he'd have to use some Olay moist toilettes for him to use. He kissed me on the forehead and said, “I brought you toilet paper because you said you were gonna run out soon and I knew you didn’t remember to buy any.”

Okay so a mildly embarrassing anecdote.

So I'm trying out Victoria Secret's wave spray for my curly hair days (I haven't found anything I really love for curly hair that isn't like a bagillion dollars (I used a birthday coupon to get this stuff)). It's kind of oily and is supposed to be sprayed evenly over your hair. I like to follow directions (including praying for it to actually work) and, well, I have a lot of hair... so I'm sprayin for a while.

So I stood in my bathroom today, sprayin away, and scrunching, and spraying and scrunching.

Then it was time to change into my real clothes (i.e. not my yoga pants and tank top) so I turned toward the door, took one step, slid all the way across the linoleum and smashed my face into the door.

I hadn't taken into account that the slippery stuff going on my hair, would also be falling on the floor.

So there I stood, startled but not hurt, laughing boisterously at my own lack of thought and hilarious uncoordination. 

(I am makin up words all over the place tonight.)

I've heard Mambo No. 5 eight times in the last 6 days. 

No joke. 

It plays ALLLLLLLLL the time on the local soft rock station. 

Also, my oldies kick continues, but has now added the 80s to a greater extent. 

Well, I think that's all the funny I have in me today -- 

so how are you all?

Got any funny stories of your own?

xoxo