23.
I am 23.
I rent a lovely townhouse, I have a steady job, I've graduated from college... this all kinda means I'm on the way up the "grown-up" hill.
Now let me tell you all a little story.
So I'vebeat to death alluded to the fact that some creepo stole my car (he even changed the radio presets!!).
Well, this has made me one paranoid.little.weirdo.
I think I'm verging on skitzo.
So my roommate was gone for the weekend.
Which left me all by my lonesome in the house.
BAD IDEA.
Especially for someone so recently "victimized".
It spelled a really bad idea last night.
First, I checked to see if my car was still in the same spot about every half hour.
Par-a-noiddd.
Then I started to "hear things".
Things that were most likely... not this:
but this is what I kept picturing.
This is what led me to hide myself upstairs.
Seriously.
I was WIGGING out.
I think I finally fell asleep around 4 because I was so paranoid someone was going to break in and rob me or hurt me or something.
I fell asleep in the exact middle of the bed with the covers all the way over me.
(If you're in the middle, nothing can grab you from the sides.)
WOW.
I think I reverted to being 6.
The thing that helped me take my mind off it?
17 Again. Jokes about K-Fed = stress relief.
So I'm kind of hoping it's not quite this bad tonight.
Another fun reason to note I'm 23:
Facebook thinks I'm a Gold Digger.
I laughed REALLY hard at this one.
Meet Senior singles in my area.
Wow, even Facebook has no hope in my love life.
I am 23.
I rent a lovely townhouse, I have a steady job, I've graduated from college... this all kinda means I'm on the way up the "grown-up" hill.
Now let me tell you all a little story.
So I've
Well, this has made me one paranoid.little.weirdo.
I think I'm verging on skitzo.
So my roommate was gone for the weekend.
Which left me all by my lonesome in the house.
BAD IDEA.
Especially for someone so recently "victimized".
It spelled a really bad idea last night.
First, I checked to see if my car was still in the same spot about every half hour.
Par-a-noiddd.
Then I started to "hear things".
Things that were most likely... not this:
but this is what I kept picturing.
This is what led me to hide myself upstairs.
Seriously.
I was WIGGING out.
I think I finally fell asleep around 4 because I was so paranoid someone was going to break in and rob me or hurt me or something.
I fell asleep in the exact middle of the bed with the covers all the way over me.
(If you're in the middle, nothing can grab you from the sides.)
WOW.
I think I reverted to being 6.
The thing that helped me take my mind off it?
17 Again. Jokes about K-Fed = stress relief.
So I'm kind of hoping it's not quite this bad tonight.
Another fun reason to note I'm 23:
Facebook thinks I'm a Gold Digger.
I laughed REALLY hard at this one.
Meet Senior singles in my area.
Wow, even Facebook has no hope in my love life.
p.s. if you google image "creepy burglar" you get this little winner: what.the.heck?!
"a popular way to get someone's attention, whether you're raising awareness about colon cancer or home improvement loans." burglars!? yeah that would get me to think more about colon cancer. what!?!?!?
oh fb...it put a 'military singles' ad on my sidebar. classic!
ReplyDelete(If you're in the middle, nothing can grab you from the sides.)
ReplyDeleteI TOTALLY do that when I'm sleeping alone. There is NOTHING wrong with it! ;-)
Hahaha, a gold digger...
ReplyDeleteI still get all paranoidy when I'm home alone sometimes...and no one has stolen my car at all...wait, let me go check.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog...think you're hilarious. And I've been living alone for about 2.5 weeks now, and it's not good for this paranoid girl. Only 3 more days to go!!
ReplyDeleteDude. I'm 30 and I make my little sis stay with me if the hubs is out of town. You are not alone!
ReplyDeleteoh noo!! well i've never had anything stolen and i still get freaked out when i'm home alone. sometimes even lock myself in a room with my cell phone flashlight and sometimes a butcher knife.
ReplyDelete"he even changed the radio presets"
ReplyDeleteThat is not okay. NOT. OKAY.
I love your blog! What a writer you have become. No, what a writer you have always become, now you are just a little more public with the whole share your feelings writing thing.
ReplyDeleteI love you. I love Jamal. I am sad that you are having to revert back to your pre-teen sleeping in a scary world days.
I hope that you are able to sleep better this weekend.
My facebookm ads are always about babies, more college degrees, or food. Not sure what that says about me...
ReplyDelete