I told myself I wasn't going to do this.
And I really thought that'd be the case.
But it's been a weird day.


via

And I just want to say,
I am grateful Pat is my Valentine.
I couldn't ask for a better one.

I love you.

xoxo.

Happy Shark-blimp Day

I'm a little late to the game on this post, seeing as his special day is almost over, but I couldn't overlook this day.

A little more than two years ago this man completely changed my life when he asked me out. He was the guy who took the initiative, who spent time making me feel special, who spent hours on end talking to me, and who made me laugh all the live long day.

Now, more than ever, he does this day in and day out.
He makes sure each day to make me feel loved.



Pat is incredibly determined, intelligent and humble. He shares his passions with me all the times teaching me how to cook better, having patience when I'm not always successful, and making plans for us to be able to do it together. He helps me to garner more knowledge, gives me tips when I'm trying to do it alone, and celebrates my victories always telling me how proud he is of me. He teaches me about hip hop, shows me new artists, and burns me CDs. He plays basketball with me even though he's AMAZING at it and I'm not. He tosses around the football with me, shows me strategy, and has even taught me how to block and tackle.



Beyond that he's fiercely loyal and incredibly caring. He's taken care of me on so many occasions. Whether its bringing me food when I'm stuck at work, just holding me close when I've had a bad day, to spending an entire night sleeping on my floor as I threw up repeatedly just to make sure I had someone there to help me if I needed it.



He puts his all into everything he does. No matter whether he loves it or just tolerates it he strives for perfection. He's hardest on himself, and pushes everyone around him to be better.



It's hard to put into words just how much he means to me. So I'll leave it at this: I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in this whole crazy world, and more than I could ever fathom being able to care about someone. The first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep is you. I can't remember what life was like before you and I pray I never know what it's like without you. I love you Patrick, always.

xoxo.

i want:

I've been nursing a really heinous head cold for most of this week.

(still worth kissing the sick boyfriend.)

Ew. I sound a little like a man, a little like Fran Drescher.

So sitting here sick on my couch, all I really want is: 

 my snuggly trailblazers blanket 

my even snugglier boyfriend 

a steamed apple cider from starbucks 

to be snuggled up somewhere like this: 

with a good book
and my super snuggly boyfriend

my favorite sweatpants 

a really comfy worn-in boyfriend-y sweater 

some french toast 

and hashbrowns smothered in cheese

oh, and did i mention, my super snuggly boyfriend? 

him, too. 

(being sick has left both of us mucho under-snuggled) 

(scary...or sicky...)

xoxox.

comedic parallels...

I love Calvin and Hobbes. 

And after a tickle fight the other night -- I noticed a parallel. 

Boyfriend is the Hobbes to my Calvin.

Actually, I think we switch roles sometimes. 

But this also may have happened: 

For more Calvin and Hobbes ... go here.

wednesday with no siovhan words...

“she belonged to me,” chris said simply. “she was, you know, all the things i wasn’t. and i was all the things she wasn’t. she could paint circles around anyone; i can’t even draw a straight line. she was never into sports; i’ve always been.” chris lifted his outstretched palm and curled his fingers. “her hand,” he said. “it fit mine.”


{j. picoult - the pact}

♥

you'll always be a part of me ... i'm part of you indefinitely

as we snuggled i told you a story.
it's a story you know all too well.
a story you, in fact, were part of.
a moment, a story, an event all too familiar for both of us.
it was not the first, it was not the last, but i will say ... it was important.
a catalyst, maybe, to we.

it all began with a phone call.
the funny thing, the phone call wasn't even to you.
i must back up a little further -- my cell phone gets really bad reception at my house.
{you know this.}
so often i have to head out of my home ...and camp out in my car to have a conversation.
well, back to the story.
my megan called me... and so i HAD to talk to her.
{sneaking in time for the two of us to talk is beyond rare. we're busy.}
so i traveled over to the mall parking lot, parked my car under a light, and had a LONG conversation.

but during this conversation ... i was still texting you.
talking to you was just as important as talking to megan.
that should have been a big indication to me of how much i liked you -- even back then.
anyway. well, we both know it was, in all seriousness, way too late for me to be out there like i was.
by the time our phone call ended it was just after 2 am.
and it was just after that that i realized -- oh no. my battery is DEAD.

so here i am... a 5'2" little blonde girl, parked in the mall parking lot at 2:30 in the morning.
alone.
all the freak alone.
sitting in my car panicking, calling my roommate.
nothing.
i freak out some more....like 30 minutes more. 
i succumb to one of my biggest issues--asking for help.
i text you ... "wanna hear a funny story? my battery is dead. and i'm at vrc by myself."
okay ... so i didn't exactly ask for help.
you text back, "are you okay? do you need help?"
"yes. i really hate bugging you. i'm so stupid."

you hurry and grab your mom's huge car.
you rush to help me.

i lie to the the mall security guard,
"my boyfriend is coming to rescue me. no worries."
or maybe i just told the future.
you open your door ... get out of your car... take one look at me and you laugh. 
at me. as i stand there sheepishly and taken aback.
"shut up!"
you continue chuckling.
i hang my head in embarrassment.
you stop laughing, but continue smiling as you walk over to me and say:
"can i hug you?"
i don't think i even looked at you -- i was so embarrassed -- but i nodded.
you wrapped your arms around me and just held me.
and that's when i knew.
"oh girl, you are in TROUBLE," my mind said to me.
i told it the same thing i told you, "shut up."

as we snuggled and i mentioned the hugging you said,
"yeah you held on for a while."
all i can say is -- i felt safe.
you were there to rescue me.
you continually do.
from the 0'dark'30 rescue ... to the popsicles ... to driving me home in the freezing rain... to the entire night when i was sick that you slept on my bedroom floor -- just so i wasn't alone and so you could take care of me.

the next morning my roommate found me on the couch ... grinning like an idiot.
"i did something stupid."
"oh no. what did you do."
"i left at 1 to go talk to megan....and my car battery died. and i got stranded. at the mall. at 3 am."
her eyes got wide.
"so i had that boy come rescue me."
"oh girl ... you have to it bad."
"shut up. do not."

and there i sat.
looking at the words on my phone:
"You really are so cute. Making me play here at 0'dark'30. Haha. Jk just glad to help."
grinning from ear to ear.
and I knew ... oh dear.
girl, you are in trouble.


and it's the best trouble of my life. 

all float on okay...

it's okay:

...if your migrane is accentuated by the theme song of your favorite show -- enough to make you change the dvd.

...if your drugs make you loopy enough to sit grinning like a big cheshire cat for nearly an entire day.

...if you want eat your body weight in carbs after having barely any appetite all week.

...to scream out "i want those butt shoes!" at your roommate after seeing that stupid reebok commercial a billion, million times.

...to see double (again due to the meds) and then make a pirate face (one eye closed) for long periods of time.

...to claim you're "gonna go all nancy drew on those fools!" on the people harassing her roommate.

...to stare aimlessly into the fridge dreaming of eating a donut, pizza, fettuccine alfredo, garlic bread, a bagel and schmear, and a whole gallon of peanut butter cup ice cream.

...to call in sick to work when you're actually sick ... even if you still feel a little guilty for it. {not okay for both of your doctors to peg you as a "workaholic".}

...to have weird dreams about being in disneyland and then beg your friends to take you right that very second.

...to call the post office names after they try to drop your package off -- only once -- and then make you select a time to pick it up. sorry mailperson .. i couldn't run down the stairs in 2 seconds.

...to watch youtube videos over and over to make you laugh.

...to debate buying your own desk chair so that you have one that won't throw your back all outta whack.

...to not take your muscle relaxers after they knock you out for a consistent 18 hours and cause blurred vision and excessive sweating.

...to get a little quite ticked at the fact that your doctor prescribed said meds despite your insistence that your life is too active to be out for the count for .. several days.

...to envy the secretary because at least she gets christmas off.

...to really really really want a donut.

...to wish there was some kind of bed trade in program which would let you trade yours for a bigger one.

...to make a list like this one because you can barely think. 

...to watch SNL reruns and laugh hysterically.

i die. "i was like yesss i wanna bake cookies on your stomach..." hahahah. oh man.

"then why does he sparkle like a princess's tiara?!"

i hope you're all having a lovely weekend.
xoxox.